nw it's 2.04am & i'm listening 2 dai pei ni - ni yao de ai. it's such a miracle tat i'm still awake at dis time normally by dis time i would alrdy been slping lyk a pig or maybe having a good dream. hussel sitting bside me with his eyes wide open, i wondering wad is in his mind, normally he will b slping too at dis time but he's lying bside me. i think e old me is back i guess? 2day my dear dear & adnan tok bout planning chalet thingy but juz duno y i gt e sour feeling even tho i noe they are toking bout planning chalet thingy. my dear dear said i'm studying in sch & i agreed ya i'm studying in sch but juz duno y i feel sour feeling. everything was fine in e afternoon den juz nw suddenly i waslost lyk all e path has gone, i have no where 2 turn or go or head to. 2day training ended very very late coz they find xcuses to make us train and trained until 9.45 which is freaking late den i quickly rush 2 have a bath den after bath, i straight away sms my dear dear tell her sry i juz ended training coz they drag e training den after a while i called my dear dear den i tok 2 my dear dear den reply was 1word answer den my dear dear said i dun wish 2 tok nemore smth lidat den fone hanged up. i was wondering wad happen so i sms her 2 sms wad's wrong? y suddenly lidat? & wad's e matter? y juz nw dun wan tok 2 me? wad happen? but no reply. i reached home & saw my bro at home den i un pack all my things and on my laptop coz my bro is using desktop. 2.15am i stop typing 4 awhile and carried hussel on 2 my lap & dis was e 1st time hussel sit on my lap 4 so long & i pet him coz he love being dote. 2.25am i start typing again, when i reach home, i saw my dear dear online in msn so i ask her wad happen? she said nth den i said den pls enlighten me. she said nth, it doesn't relate 2 me smth lidat. den i ask her wad's e matter? she said nth, don ask. at the same time her msn pm was i shall END here, don ask. U noe how sensitive is this word "END", it can mean a lot of things & i dun wish 2 state it down coz i have been affected by the word "END" here. next moment my dear dear said she wan 2 slp liao den gd nite swt dreams, anything sms her den she offline liao. next moment she sms a gd nite sms so i sms her a gd nite sms too den at 12.12am she sms me dun think too much. go ko ba. how can i nt think 2 much when dis word "END" and oso b4 my training, everything was fine and after my training, everything turn out 2 b e other way round and maybe b4 my training is has alrdy been lidat, i'm really clue-less. at least 3hrs i have been thinking wad happen, wad "END" means? i dun wish 2 think but i can't coz it's way too sensitive. 2.37am soon i will be done with typing all dis. every alphabet tat my finger hit on the keyboard and the alphabet appear on e screen, my tears flood my eye ball but i control my tears. wad actually had happen during b4 i start training till e end of my training? y does it hurt so much even i duno wad's happening? y m i tearing when i'm typing all dis down? Y?! Y?! Y?! Y M I TEARING WHEN I'M TYPING ALL DIS DOWN?! 2.53am i finished typing down everything and in 7mins it's 3am in e morning and i have 2 wake up at 7am but it doesn't matter. Listening 2 Hot Shot: 要對我再說愛 & 真的, 我沒事 all dis time. WHY IT'S HURTING SO MUCH?! WHY TEARS ARE DROPPING WHEN I'M TYPING ALL THIS DOWN?! WHAT IS THE MEANING OF: I SHALL END HERE. DON'T ASK?! WHY?! WHY?! WHY?!
